The essay below is my submission to the STSC Symposium, a monthly set-theme collaboration between STSC writers. The topic today is “Beginnings.” My fibroid’s name was Betty. She was the size of a softball but was removed in pulpy pieces so I only saw remnants of her in photos on my doctor’s tablet.
holy cow i had never heard of fibroids before but the experience sounds very intense, harrowing, and a bit lonely... thank you for sharing 💗
i also love how you describe shame and addiction, it's interesting to me how the things which cause us shame can sound so innocuous to outsiders... like when i first read your definition of Pagophagia my first thought was: "aw that sounds endearing and cute!" but that's so different from your internal experience of it...
We're fibroid friends! Betty! Glad you got rid of her and hopefully all of the nasty side effects. It's impossible for people to know what you've gone through, and I'm so glad you wrote about your experience here to let readers see a glimpse of what it means to have fibroid(s). Outwardly it's often invisible (unless you chip off ice in the freezer...) yet women go through incredible pain and anxiety that no one ever will know. I recognize much in your writing. I had to remove my entire uterus together with multiple large fibroids in 2018. Think about that scene from Alien. That was how I thought of my fibroids and uterus. It was a freakin' alien invasion. The whole area was so messed up with endometriosis, adenomyosis and fibroids that it wasn't worth cutting around things. I've thought about sharing my fibroid story sometime. I think I still haven't processed everything.
You have such an incredible way with words. I love reading your thoughts and letting them inspire me to be a better writer as well. As you know, I'm a big fan of honest writing. Thank you for always sharing your experiences with us.
holy cow i had never heard of fibroids before but the experience sounds very intense, harrowing, and a bit lonely... thank you for sharing 💗
i also love how you describe shame and addiction, it's interesting to me how the things which cause us shame can sound so innocuous to outsiders... like when i first read your definition of Pagophagia my first thought was: "aw that sounds endearing and cute!" but that's so different from your internal experience of it...
We're fibroid friends! Betty! Glad you got rid of her and hopefully all of the nasty side effects. It's impossible for people to know what you've gone through, and I'm so glad you wrote about your experience here to let readers see a glimpse of what it means to have fibroid(s). Outwardly it's often invisible (unless you chip off ice in the freezer...) yet women go through incredible pain and anxiety that no one ever will know. I recognize much in your writing. I had to remove my entire uterus together with multiple large fibroids in 2018. Think about that scene from Alien. That was how I thought of my fibroids and uterus. It was a freakin' alien invasion. The whole area was so messed up with endometriosis, adenomyosis and fibroids that it wasn't worth cutting around things. I've thought about sharing my fibroid story sometime. I think I still haven't processed everything.
Ha, Betty! Great name! :-)
You have such an incredible way with words. I love reading your thoughts and letting them inspire me to be a better writer as well. As you know, I'm a big fan of honest writing. Thank you for always sharing your experiences with us.
I could literally read anything you write. And I just did. 😀