So the prompt was glaciers and cyborgs? You wrote a completely unique take on those words by using cold metal and frozen humanity to describe a man unable to love who purposefully shuts down and controls his emotions. He is freed from his prison by the tea lady’s words and embrace What on earth did the first judge read? I admit I had to look up the word deliquesce but come on man, how did they arrive at misogyny? As to the second maybe they want a more cookie cutter approach to a very short story. 🤷♀️ I loved it and it is unlikely there was another entry with your style. As a bit of an old tea lady myself, I embrace it!
Jeanne!! I love how you champion, and you TOTALLY got the story! I know it was poetic but to be called incoherent twice was as jarring as the misogynistic character ha. Oh, and deliquesce wasn't in the original title, I just used that one for this post. And thanks for the prompts props!
The judges sound like they read a completely different story than the one you wrote. Your protagonist deserves empathy and even pity, but not judgement. And yes, there were times where the story wasn’t super coherent. But I read it more as a prose poem than a traditional short story.
Ugh! I loved this and I’m so sorry that the judges not only didn’t get you, but also didn’t seem to try. I think cyborg syndrome sounds beautiful, as well as the idea that tea and curry can remind someone who’s afflicted by it of what it feels like to reconnect to other humans again ♥️
Yes, the "didn't seem to try" is what was a bummer. I find some of my favorite pieces by others are ones that I have to give a little more time and eye to - unskimmable. Love the way you summarized it too - you get it.
"If I’d attempted to answer my almost-ex honestly, I may have said, “I have no fucking clue, Amanda, but what I can tell you is that I don’t date women with bra sizes bigger than A.”"
Once I got to this part, I was hooked. Your writing has the ability to take people to a place they've never been or could be. It is a rare thing for me these days but I read the entire piece. And it is precisely your writing style that drew me in. The one thing I will note is that a couple paragraphs seemed to indulge your (beautiful and unique) writing style without contributing to the actual story. It's almost as though the story would have read more coherently if it were shorter. As a writer myself I am used to this indulgence and enjoyed those bits for what they were - a kind of writing I aspire to but haven't found in myself yet.
Thank you for this, and the judges could take tips from you! Also I did figure out a way to tweak those parts just a bit to make them a little more coherent with only the addition of a word or two - a sort of placemaking context. I can't wait to read you - just subscribed!
I liked this a great deal, but then I have a great interest in stories about frozen men discovering their secret hearts. Also: incoherent? I've read way, waaaaay more incoherent published stories (usually written by men) on supposedly "universal" themes. I'm sorry judges are judgey.
Hhahaha!! I wonder if it's a brain thing, because some people could ride the thought coherently as i intended it, and some couldn't, so it's maybe like a parallel mind sort of thing - thus we have parallel thinking maybe. Thanks for your feedback, much appreciated!!
I am not a writer nor poet. I struggle mightily to write an infrequent newsletter. What I am is a life long voracious reader. I will read almost anything. I loved this piece - unique and stylish and emotional. I don't like works that are formulaic, especially in the "arts". Keep up the great work
Hey thanks so much, Ernie! You sound like my type of reader - I love delving into all different voices and styles. I was much more myopic and narrow and judgmental in my youth.
Jun 25, 2023·edited Jun 25, 2023Liked by Trilety Wade
I thought it was beautiful story and I enjoyed it very much. Judges pontificate from on high with their notions of factory fiction that must be x, y, and z because blueprints, after all, must be adhered to if we are going to built a stable apartment building of average units, one indistinguishable from the rest . And you must connect with the character and their goals lest you be forced to think outside the box.
Yeah, I know. I'm a curmudgeon when it comes to the sad state of lit mags. I saw the same announcement and knew it would be a waste of time for me. The pages of highly detailed rules and regulations (yes, I read the damn things) told me pretty much all I needed to know. Some people just don’t appreciate the beauty that can be found in things you may not be able to fully grasp.
But that’s part of what makes them beautiful. That we are moved to think and reflect not just upon what was said, but what was left unsaid as well. That we make leaps. That we are pushed into thinking and focusing instead of simply passively accepting.
At any rate, my ticket to the soapbox is nearly expired, so allow me to say thanks Trilety for a highly enjoyable and thoughtful piece. Keep it up.
Thank you so so much, Victor! And yes YES, "that we are moved to think and reflect not just upon what was said, but what was left unsaid as well." I agree with that wholeheartedly and said to someone regadring the judges comments that what do we do with feedback that tends to indicate we need to change our voice, because i am not one to spoon-feed a story with nary a gap in the floorboards - it is those gaps where we can really invite the reader in to do some of the work.
Hhaha and I dig your take on all the rules - I thougth they were a little much but it seems like that is just what is out there. We need to find some lit mag rag that is just like "hey, here's our email, submit your shit." Ha! Thanks again for reading, your comments land especially well since I am such a fan of your work!
Thanks Trilety. There are places that don't lay a lot of rules down, and that's great. I founded and ran one such for several years, poetry and art. I'm in the process of starting up another focused on short fiction / prose poetry (like 500 - 1200 words or thereabouts), but as with the first project, guidelines are simple and more like suggestions, not hard core. When it's ready, I'll spread the word more. I'd be very pleased if you would consider being a part of it.
Thank you, Adam - and I need to remember to be more curious and less wounded hahah by the feedback of judges - treat them as friends and peers rather than some authority. Thank you for the insight and of course the kind words!
So the prompt was glaciers and cyborgs? You wrote a completely unique take on those words by using cold metal and frozen humanity to describe a man unable to love who purposefully shuts down and controls his emotions. He is freed from his prison by the tea lady’s words and embrace What on earth did the first judge read? I admit I had to look up the word deliquesce but come on man, how did they arrive at misogyny? As to the second maybe they want a more cookie cutter approach to a very short story. 🤷♀️ I loved it and it is unlikely there was another entry with your style. As a bit of an old tea lady myself, I embrace it!
Jeanne!! I love how you champion, and you TOTALLY got the story! I know it was poetic but to be called incoherent twice was as jarring as the misogynistic character ha. Oh, and deliquesce wasn't in the original title, I just used that one for this post. And thanks for the prompts props!
The judges sound like they read a completely different story than the one you wrote. Your protagonist deserves empathy and even pity, but not judgement. And yes, there were times where the story wasn’t super coherent. But I read it more as a prose poem than a traditional short story.
In short, fuck them judges.
YOU SHOULD BE A JUDGE!! Thanks for this - I love that you got it.
Ugh! I loved this and I’m so sorry that the judges not only didn’t get you, but also didn’t seem to try. I think cyborg syndrome sounds beautiful, as well as the idea that tea and curry can remind someone who’s afflicted by it of what it feels like to reconnect to other humans again ♥️
Yes, the "didn't seem to try" is what was a bummer. I find some of my favorite pieces by others are ones that I have to give a little more time and eye to - unskimmable. Love the way you summarized it too - you get it.
"If I’d attempted to answer my almost-ex honestly, I may have said, “I have no fucking clue, Amanda, but what I can tell you is that I don’t date women with bra sizes bigger than A.”"
Once I got to this part, I was hooked. Your writing has the ability to take people to a place they've never been or could be. It is a rare thing for me these days but I read the entire piece. And it is precisely your writing style that drew me in. The one thing I will note is that a couple paragraphs seemed to indulge your (beautiful and unique) writing style without contributing to the actual story. It's almost as though the story would have read more coherently if it were shorter. As a writer myself I am used to this indulgence and enjoyed those bits for what they were - a kind of writing I aspire to but haven't found in myself yet.
Thank you for this, and the judges could take tips from you! Also I did figure out a way to tweak those parts just a bit to make them a little more coherent with only the addition of a word or two - a sort of placemaking context. I can't wait to read you - just subscribed!
I think we all were and I knew almost everything, also I was immortal. LOL
I liked this a great deal, but then I have a great interest in stories about frozen men discovering their secret hearts. Also: incoherent? I've read way, waaaaay more incoherent published stories (usually written by men) on supposedly "universal" themes. I'm sorry judges are judgey.
Hhahaha!! I wonder if it's a brain thing, because some people could ride the thought coherently as i intended it, and some couldn't, so it's maybe like a parallel mind sort of thing - thus we have parallel thinking maybe. Thanks for your feedback, much appreciated!!
I am not a writer nor poet. I struggle mightily to write an infrequent newsletter. What I am is a life long voracious reader. I will read almost anything. I loved this piece - unique and stylish and emotional. I don't like works that are formulaic, especially in the "arts". Keep up the great work
Hey thanks so much, Ernie! You sound like my type of reader - I love delving into all different voices and styles. I was much more myopic and narrow and judgmental in my youth.
I thought it was beautiful story and I enjoyed it very much. Judges pontificate from on high with their notions of factory fiction that must be x, y, and z because blueprints, after all, must be adhered to if we are going to built a stable apartment building of average units, one indistinguishable from the rest . And you must connect with the character and their goals lest you be forced to think outside the box.
Yeah, I know. I'm a curmudgeon when it comes to the sad state of lit mags. I saw the same announcement and knew it would be a waste of time for me. The pages of highly detailed rules and regulations (yes, I read the damn things) told me pretty much all I needed to know. Some people just don’t appreciate the beauty that can be found in things you may not be able to fully grasp.
But that’s part of what makes them beautiful. That we are moved to think and reflect not just upon what was said, but what was left unsaid as well. That we make leaps. That we are pushed into thinking and focusing instead of simply passively accepting.
At any rate, my ticket to the soapbox is nearly expired, so allow me to say thanks Trilety for a highly enjoyable and thoughtful piece. Keep it up.
Thank you so so much, Victor! And yes YES, "that we are moved to think and reflect not just upon what was said, but what was left unsaid as well." I agree with that wholeheartedly and said to someone regadring the judges comments that what do we do with feedback that tends to indicate we need to change our voice, because i am not one to spoon-feed a story with nary a gap in the floorboards - it is those gaps where we can really invite the reader in to do some of the work.
Hhaha and I dig your take on all the rules - I thougth they were a little much but it seems like that is just what is out there. We need to find some lit mag rag that is just like "hey, here's our email, submit your shit." Ha! Thanks again for reading, your comments land especially well since I am such a fan of your work!
Thanks Trilety. There are places that don't lay a lot of rules down, and that's great. I founded and ran one such for several years, poetry and art. I'm in the process of starting up another focused on short fiction / prose poetry (like 500 - 1200 words or thereabouts), but as with the first project, guidelines are simple and more like suggestions, not hard core. When it's ready, I'll spread the word more. I'd be very pleased if you would consider being a part of it.
OF COURSE! Send my way, looking forward to it!
Thank you, Adam - and I need to remember to be more curious and less wounded hahah by the feedback of judges - treat them as friends and peers rather than some authority. Thank you for the insight and of course the kind words!