I was 2 years away from my first period when I realized that Santa was theoretical. The longevity of my belief in Santa makes it seem implausible that I left the church at only age 15 as churches prefer easy believers. Santa felt safer than God. I did’t believe in the penalizing “naughty list” Santa, I believed in a Santa who didn’t keep tabs. The Bible told me God kept logs of our sins, but in the absence of a Santa bible, I made up my own jolly old elf beliefs. Not only was Santa un-punishing but he was also warm, loving, and smelled of spice. He wore fur and flesh whereas God had no form, so my child mind viewed him as a huge Ice Cube in the sky. Santa was the dad who didn’t leave and the only man I never sexualized. I even stayed asexually true to Santa when Kurt Russel, who I was infatuated with since he gave grown up voice to Copper in “The Fox and the Hound,” took up the role in 2018.
Hhaahaa, leaving carrots out for the reindeer along with cookies for Santa, however maybe something I thought was a common kid tradition was just something my mom did. . . i mean, it took me til adulthood to find out that other kids didn't also leave scotch out for Santa like my mom told me to do.
wait - what do carrots have to do with christmas, what've i missed all these years?!
Hhaahaa, leaving carrots out for the reindeer along with cookies for Santa, however maybe something I thought was a common kid tradition was just something my mom did. . . i mean, it took me til adulthood to find out that other kids didn't also leave scotch out for Santa like my mom told me to do.